I Know Your Every Move by Diane Ezzard

Author:Diane Ezzard [Ezzard, Diane]
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub
Published: 2017-06-02T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter Seventeen

THEN

Life with Kyle didn’t improve after his suicide attempt. He made a real go of cutting down on his drinking though. This was at the time my own alcohol consumption started increasing. It began with me having a glass of wine or two when I got in from work and then slowly I would finish off the whole bottle. Our relationship changed. There was a new understanding between us but we became more like brother and sister living under the same roof. I was developing an independent life doing things that didn’t involve Kyle. Something definitely died inside me when he took his overdose. At a subconscious level, I withdrew emotionally to protect myself from any more hurt but I still cared about him as well as caring for him.

I went out regularly on Friday nights with a crowd from work. Kyle didn’t seem to mind. He never wanted to go out nor did he have any money to and he was happy, sitting at home on his computer playing games in his own little world. He recently started a new programming course which he enjoyed and his general mood appeared to be improving.

All the while, my own dark clouds loomed overhead. I was deeply unhappy, and I went through phases of wanting to split up again but never felt brave enough to leave. I didn’t want to feel responsible for anything Kyle might do so I kept my thoughts to myself and took solace in the bottle. The way we had grown apart, I couldn’t understand why he would stay but I thought he would have to be the one to make the first move. I encouraged him to go out on his own, hoping he would meet someone else but he seemed content with me doing his cooking and cleaning and providing for him. I saw I was doing the lion’s share of things even though I did enjoy my role, looking after him.

I shifted my focus to work, spending more time there, not wanting to go home at night. This paid off because my efforts were recognised and I was promoted to team leader. I got moved to a team with four other guys. Their names were Matthew, Mark, Luke and Joe. Shame it wasn’t John , but they certainly weren’t a biblical bunch. I enjoyed being part of their banter and Mark was a real comedian, so work could be fun. Most of the lads were United fans apart from Mark and he was a true blue. For many years he’d taken a lot of stick from the other guys but now City were doing well, he was having the last laugh. That didn’t stop the teasing though

“Hey, Mark, What’s the difference between a City fan and a baby?” asked Matt from his seat in the corner of the room.

“I don’t know Matt but I’m sure you’re going to tell me,” replied Mark

“The baby will stop whining after a while,” Mark answered with a loud raucous laugh.

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